There exists a subculture in the world that many people know about, yet few claim actual membership to. They are often locked away in their garage or basement tossing around the d20 and attacking their nearest foe with the force of the ancient Dwarven Magic Stone which adds 4000 attack points to their offensive. In between each roll of the die, they gossip about the future of Buffy and Spike’s relationship. They are stereotypically pale with long unkempt hair; they are unshaven and sport a little more padding around the waist. There are some who break the mold and are slender, masculine, tan and for the most part handsome. They are what make up the geekius genus.
I belong to this rag tag hoi polloi of social misfits. I also find myself at a precarious position within geekius. I love reading the stories; I love collecting the issues (I boast a collection that’s roughly worth $4,000). I hate the stigma given to those who love the comic book medium. I refuse to kowtow to the stereotype of the comic book geek. Yet, under this pudgy, pale, unshaven physique I know I am one of them. In twenty seven years I have finally come to grips with who I am. My name is Fred Hudson and I am a geekius übergeekium.Associated Press recently reported that a professor at some ivy league hoity-toity university received a grant to explore the identity of the comic book geek. Dr. Pigwidgigan and his associates set out to find what they thought was the quintessential species of the geekius genus. His investigation led him all over theUnited States from big city convention centers to one horse town bookstores. He did not find the comic book geek he was looking for but rather three distinct species: 1) comicollectoroi 2) comicstoriopus and 3) übergeekium. He has thus classified them into the geekius genus along with the likes of geekius computernerdium and geekius igotsandkickedinmyface-onedaysoIcalledMrAtlasandlookatmenow!icus.
In his initial findings, Dr. Pigwidgigan found many distinctive characteristics of the geekius: “Ve found dat several times und year at different locations sroughout deUnited States deez individuals gader. Zey unvade hotel ballrooms, conference halls und de occasional convention center. Some come to sell deir vares; uders come und buy. All of zem discuss de finer points of de superhero powers. De greatest concentrations of de geekius assemble at two places: de San Diego ComiCon und de Vizard Vorld Chicago Convention. De comic book geek is often und enigma to de normal populace. But ve fund dat dey are your fazers, brozers und boyfriends. It is a male dominated verld vherein many vomen fear to tread.”
The first specimen Dr. Pigwidgigan and his colleagues discovered was the geekius comicollectoroi. He is often seen milling through comic book store back bins searching for that one issue that will complete his collection. First issues, final issues, first appearances, entire story arcs, all of these are gold to the comicollectoroi. Once the treasured book is found, it is handled with the utmost care: white gloves, safe deposit box, and armed motorcade are just some of the tools the comicollectoroi will utilize. Once he has his key issue, he locks it away never to be seen again by himself or anyone else. To the comicollectoroi comic books are less about the actual product and more about future investment possibilities. While lumped into the geekius genus, the comicollectoroi is a close cousin to the stuffyupity bussinessmanicus, as he is always finding a way to cut a deal to buy or sell favored issues. If asked if he ever reads each issue, he replies in his high nasally voice, “No way, man! That might damage the spine and lessen the grade from mint to very fine. …Stupid!”
The next species of geekius is the geekius comicstoriopus. He is the traditional form of the geekius. Comicstoriopi are copious in all things comics. He pines for his favorite hero or heroine as women do their favorite soap opera star, chomping at the bit for the latest news of said hero. He has the uncanny ability to quote chapter and verse, or rather issue and word bubble, to back any outrageous claim. This person cares not for the hard-to-find and expensive back issues to complete his collection; he’s happy to just go and buy the trade paperback edition. The comicstoriopus is seen every Wednesday at his local comic book shop yucking it up with other comicstoriopi about this month’s controversial twist in The Avengers:
“There is no way that Iron Man could use his repulsor rays against Kang the Conqueror; he’d just absorb the energy!” challenges Comicstoriopus #1.
“True, true. That is unless Iron Man uses the Bacula Tech he got from the Negative Zone back in Tales to Amaze and Awe issue 14,” defends Comicstoriopus #2 in a squeaky voice.
“Ohh… good one. But what about the Zirutian armor that Kang stole in Wonder Comics 47…” retorts Comicstoriopus #1.
Comicstoriopi are first and foremost debaters. They will spend hours arguing the finer points of questions like, “Who would win in a race, Superman or the Flash?” and “When will Batman and Robin admit their undying love for each other?” That is, until it’s time to go home and watch their TiVo-ed reruns of “Battlestar Gallactica.” To the comicstoriopus nothing brings greater joy than finding out what happens to his favorite superhero or superhero team. How is Matt Murdock, whose secret identity was leaked to the press by a two-bit drug leader, going to convince the public that he is not Daredevil when, in fact, he is? With the passing of the Superhuman Registration Act in Marvel’s Civil War, should the heroes follow the law or are they “above” it? It is all a goldmine of material for the comicstoriopus.
Finally there is the geekius übergeekium. While thought to be rare by the general public, the übergeekium is actually the most common of the geekius. While more closely related to the comicstoriopus, he is pretty much an amalgamation of both the comicstoriopus and the comicollectoroi. Knowing full well how the stories can influence key issues, he will purchase two copies of one issue so that he can read one and leave the other, “in mint condition.” The übergeekium do it all. Not only does he know the popular stories, he is well versed in lesser known and even independent titles; being able to match wits with the comicstoriopus. The comicstoriopus and the comicollectoroi owe a debt to the übergeekium for finding new provocative independent titles like Invincible, Watchmen, and Sandman to collect and discuss. The übergeekium lives, breathes and eats (well not literally, they’re still an investment!) comics. Much like his closely related cousin, comicstoriopus, he will dress up in poorly crafted costumes made of old bed sheets and his mother’s drapery and regularly attend any sci-fi-slash-comic book convention at the local Holiday Inn like a Baptist at a big tent revival meeting. Almost all of the wages from his part-time job at the local Subway are quickly exchanged for comics, toys, cards, and t-shirts. He is sometimes seen camped outside movie theaters in the aforementioned costume awaiting ticket sales to the newest comic book influenced summer blockbuster. The übergeekium believes the hype and no matter how bad Episodes I and II were he holds out hope that seeing Darth Vader’s eventual rise to galaxy domination will pay dividends on having seen the first two movies so many times he could have bought a small car.
For the übergeekium, comic book collecting is not only an industry, it is an art. From scouring for the book in the best condition on the rack to carefully placing it into a Mylar bag with the acid-free backing board and storing it in a cool place (preferably room temperature or just below, like 75 degree-ish), the time and attention to comic book collecting is precise and detailed. While hardly anyone will ever own a Renoir or Picasso, for a few thousand bucks the first appearance of Spider-Man, X-Men or Green Lantern can be made available to anyone. It is a multi-billion-dollar-a-year industry that offers everything from comic books to toys to apparel to movies. Most importantly comic books are getting people to read.
As I was growing up I hated reading. I hated reading for school and I hated reading for pleasure. Books didn’t captivate me, as I would stare at the page overwhelmed by the amount of words. I am a visual learner and know that pictures help stimulate that portion of my brain. Chalk it up to ADD or years of gazing into the boob tube but I could not invest the time it took to read a novel. All of that changed when I found a series of books about the adventures of a young, Belgian reporter named Tin Tin and his white fox terrier, Snowy, in my middle school’s library. I read every book they had. Later, I stumbled upon Maus – A Survivors Tale, Art Spiegelman’s opus that won a Pulitzer Prize. Ever since, comic books have opened my eyes to literature as a whole. No longer do the words force me into seclusion. While I still may occasionally struggle with comprehension, I am able to look past a particular section I find confusing and come back to it later. I read now because I find it entertaining and exhilarating. Author, Richard Peck said, “I read because one life isn’t enough, and in the page of a book I can be anybody. I read because the words that build the story become mine, to build my life.” That too is why I read.
I am in the process of “rereading” all those wonderful books I missed in middle school and high school like The Odyssey, The Great Gatsby, Tolstoy and Dickinson. As I read, I picture how a particular scene or sequence might look if it were drawn by Jim Lee or Humberto Ramos? Would this part be paneled or a splash page? How would Brian Michael Bendis write the dialogue? Pulitzer Prize winning authors such as Edward P. Jones are now coming out of the closet of nerdium and proudly proclaiming their love of the medium. Science fiction authors like Ray Bradbury and Kurt Vonnegut were outsiders to literature thirty to forty years ago. While they’ve always had some sort of commercial success only now are their works beginning to be studied at the academic level. To some extent that is the current path that the comic book is taking. Regarded as immature and foolish as long as sixty years ago and as recent as ten, comic books and their close cousin, the graphic novel, are now being seriously looked at academically. For me and many others comic books are the pearly gates to the heavenly world of literature.
While I would classify myself as geekius übergeekium I also know how important the medium is to our culture. The stories and heroes are allegories for morality and spirituality that reinforce the Judeo-Christian ideals America was founded upon. It is our superheroes that pick up where our families, churches and society have failed. For the child whose father is too busy with work or gone altogether, heroes like Spider-Man teach him the importance of responsibility. To victims, heroes like Daredevil teach them that true justice will eventually come. To the social outcast and down trodden, heroes like the X-Men teach patience and tolerance. The stories teach us to hope and to fight to defend those who cannot fight for themselves. We are drawn to the characters and stories as sources of inspiration.
When movie goers flock to the silver screen to see their favorite team of mutants, conflicted teenager in a bug costume or vermin influenced vigilante, they are looking for something missing within themselves. In a volatile world troubled by medical epidemics, terrorism, continued nuclear proliferation, tsunamis, hurricanes and any other natural disaster of the week, humans look to something that will help fill what C.S. Lewis describes as a “God shaped hole.” While there may only be one thing that satisfies that need, the stories within superhero comic books guides us into that direction. They say “there is something out there worth fighting for”, “everyone is someone” and “good will triumph over evil.” While they are unable to fight real battles, the superhero gives mankind a hope that seems absent in today’s headlines and lead stories; the hope of good ultimately prevailing. In a world where the two are sometimes blurred, Spider-Man fights because he knows the responsibility that comes with his powers; Superman fights for truth, justice and the American way; Daredevil fights for those whom the American legal system has failed. Comic books and the stories within are so much more than the word bubble or splash page. It is where popculture meets morality meets humanity.
